Crazy Times

So I have to apologize for not being consistent with posting on this website, which was my idea. Work has been insane and with all the traveling along with coaching volleyball I have had very little time to myself. I don't know if I am happy about being so busy or not, but I feel like I am constantly moving in fast forward without a moment to take in all that I am doing or need to get done. I guess I am not liking it because I sure sound as if I am complaining; sorry.

Volleyball is going very well, the girls have only lost one game which was this past Saturday and there were a lot of tears because they wanted to stay undefeated. They are currently ranked number one in the league, but not sure if that will stick after the other teams play tomorrow. It has been a lot of fun, the girls are all working so well together and I don't have one flighty one in the bunch..YEAH!! Other than that I have been traveling for work, next week I am in Chicago for two days, then the following week I will be in Georgia for four followed by Louisville, Kentucky for three days. This month is crazy, but I won't be traveling for work after this month until February so that will be nice.

Now I am freaking out over Florida, things have been a bit tight and I had to tap into our Florida vacation fund to pay some things. Now the funds are a bit too low for my liking and we leave for Disney in 27 days, I am totally freaking out. I am panicking that I won't have the money we need to enjoy the parks and I have have been looking for some kind of odd jobs to do in between all the craziness in order to earn some extra money. Finding that I am not even close to being as resourceful as Laura in finding ways to earn extra money so again FREAKING OUT. Jeez, how will I be able to earn an additional $500 in the next 27 days that does not require me to sell my body? Doubt I would even earn that much if I did sell my body; probably not many takers on that. So if any of you have any great ideas, let me know, I am desperate to earn some extra cash. Ok, I have carried on way too much here, sorry about that. Hope everyone is doing well, I was disappointed I was unable to go to the Cat's Pajamas concert on Friday, it never would have worked though with practice. I didn't even end up getting out of their until after 7 . Hope everyone is doing well. Look forward to hearing from you.

ME

Late Night Musings

Stacy-

It is daily that I still have to tell myself to take everything in, let go of the little things, focus on what is important. Life has slipped past me in seconds. I had a baby in my arms and I blinked, and now she is closer to walking away than to staying. You have sacrificed plenty, and I know that to be true. Never let guilt get in the way of finding all of the positives that you have provided to your child. It is a waste of time, emotion and will not change a thing. Here is a blog that I wrote two years ago when I dropped Reagan off at school for fourth grade. It still sums up how I feel...


I Remember



I remember when I was barely older than a child myself and you terrified me with the unknown. Your growth caused wonder and your movements brought thoughts of overwhelming ineptitude. When you came to me, you were an answer to a question.



I remember when you fit into the curve beneath my collarbone: chin tucked, fists balled and eyes clenched tight. Your breath was sweet and your heartbeat quick. You mewed softly in your sleep and your weight was a tiny immeasurable pillow against my chest.



I remember when I cried myself to sleep at night doubting my abilities and only noticing my inadequacies. You were a tribute, a godsend, a tormentor and a wingless angel. Spaghetti covered and laughing bubbles, you showed me the battle of me becoming us.



I remember discovering fears that never existed and restraint that only love brings. I was second guessing regret, before regret even had time to appear. Bright eyes, round cheeks and responsibility. You gave me reason; reason to breathe, reason to sleep, reason to love, and reason to live.



Now little one, I walk you once again to the door and release you. It was hard this time… is it ever easy? My infant, my toddler, my preschooler, my child. I look in your face and see the heartbreak that will be mine, all mine, when you pack your bags and become an adult.



I love you. - Mom (saying goodbye at the door to fourth grade)

Reflection

The other day I saw a news story on the Today show about a woman who started a blog to communicate with her family, share her stories as a mother to four children, etc., it became an extremely popular blog as other mothers stumbled upon it and were captivated and inspired by what they were reading. The reason that this story made the Today show was that the woman who wrote the blog and her husband were in a small plane accident; though they survived they suffered severe burns to their body, her 85% percent and her husband 30%. Many of the women that read her blog came together to start a prayer network along with started raising donations to help with the major medical bills that they would incur throughout their very long recovery. Both of them still in the hospital, her family has bonded together, one sister caring for three of the children and another sister is taking care of the youngest as the other sister with the three children had just given birth and knew that the youngest needed more attention than what she could give. Each day both sisters meet in the morning and spend the day with the children bringing them together to do activities similar to what they were accustomed too, trying to maintain the consistency their sister would want for them.

This story was so captivating to me and the pictures that were shown on the television drew me to them. So, I visited the blog the other day and her sister is maintaining the site by reposting previous posts. I found myself reading this blog for such a long time going through so many emotions as I read the blog; every post detailed and inspiring. All the little things this family did and what the mother was teaching her children through small acts of kindness really led to me reflect on what I do for others and for my daughter each day. There is so much that I take for granted and so much that I don't do with my daughter because I allow myself to get caught up in the craziness of life. As I type this I again reflect on the day and all the opportunities I missed to really spend time with her and moments that I didn't savor as much as I could have such as our ride home from Madison today after I got my hair done. Jade was telling me about her day and some of the funny things that her and her friends played at recess; I heard bits and pieces of it, but I am ashamed to say that I wasn't truly listening, I was thinking about all the things I needed to do when I got home. It's unfortunate I am just realizing this now that Jade is fast asleep, moment passed and I let it slip through my fingers. You may be wondering why I am typing all this, well, I'm sharing and I hope I take these words I am typing down to heart because I need to make some many changes in my life in order to stop wasting the precious time we have on this earth. I am blessed in so many ways and I need to stop taking those things for granted. I am going to make a point of slowing my time with Jade down and spending more time being a good role model for her along with finding small acts of kindness to bestow upon others with her to teach her what truly matters in this life. The blog I am talking about is a must read and I have attached it to our blog page on the left hand side of the page; it's titled Nie-Nie for NieNie Dialogues. Laura thank you for sharing with me your experiences along with showing me the acts of kindness that you bestow upon others. It has definitely changed how I see things, it's made my view of the world that much wider for the taking. It's a joy not only getting to know you but also the friends you have introduced me too along the way; each one inspirational and I feel lucky to have met them all. OK, my time of reflection must end as it is late and I need to allow all this in my head to soak in while I sleep. I miss you terribly and though I would love to have you home; hope tomorrow does not find you deported as I look forward to hearing more adventures from Hungary.

Absent Goddess is Here!

Ok, so things have been a bit crazy with volleyball,parents' 40th Wedding Anniversary Party, work, upcoming travels; what can I say, I'm sorry. Here I set an assignment and do not abide by the rules myself, sorry all. So, where do I start.......hmmmmm.....Brian, yes my dinner with Brian.

Brian and I met for dinner at the Los Portales the Mexican restaurant in Fort. We were directed to order margaritas so that is what we did; actually after Brian had ordered a soda and I a water, but the margaritas were ordered once we were instructed to do so. I read my note from Wanderlust and it almost made me cry (I would have if I was alone, actually kind of did when I reread it alone). In my ever so nervous fashion, I ended up chatting poor Brian's ear off, I told him how "Wanderlust" and I met, how she motivated me off my lazy ass, and how thankful I am to have met someone so interesting, intelligent, kind, positive, and inspirational. Brian told me about his band, his tentative plans, and how he feels about Laura; which is, he is in love. It was a very nice dinner and it was neat to get to know someone who is in love with one of your friends; I have never done that and it was just a great experience. I fully enjoyed getting to know Brian and I find him extremely kind, interesting, intelligent, positive, and inspirational...sounds like anyone else I have described???? Definitely a fit I would say and hoping to find someone myself someday that would be a good fit for me like they are.

That's about all the updating I can do right now, tomorrow is a big day with a full schedule of work and my team's first volleyball game right after that. The week ahead will be crazy busy with it ending by me flying off to Vegas for five days to attend a big tradeshow, MINExpo; should be interesting. I will do my best to blog before I go, but if I don't it's because the craziness took over. I will blog as soon as I can. Love to all the goddesses!!!

No Action on the Goddess Blog...

Ummmm hello? Where y'all at? Here is a photo from my Chicago photo shoot right before I left. Trying to find some work out here, but Hungary is pretty dead for modeling gigs. Sigh.

Thriving In Chaos Goddess

It's me!!!!! I am finally, finally, finally available to my goddess girls to blog and bitch my way through this adventure in Hungary. I have had three weeks of next to no Internet, and whenever I did have it, the language settings were in Hungarian, so I could not access this blog. Sooooo.... I finally have Internet in my flat and I am on my trusty green laptop typing away!

I don't even know how to begin getting you all caught up on the past three weeks, so I am going to keep this entry brief and direct you to my travel blog, www.hungaryorbust.blogspot.com. There is a super long update there, with more to come. I will reserve this goddess blog for the more personal stuff that you girls want to hear about, such as friendships out here and funny guy stories.

Love and miss you both. Do we need some more goddesses on here or what???

Assignment for the Goddesses

Here's what I thought would be fun, lame, but still fun. Each of us on the blog needs to title ourselves a goddess name; such as mine being the "Fashionably Late Goddess" since with Laura (and everyone else to be honest) I am ALWAYS late. So for your profile you should name yourself a goddess and that will just add to the "Global Goddesses" blog. Ok, now you have your assignment along with the weekly one to post a story every week. My story for the week is:

Sadly said goodbye to Laura after a lovely dinner and movie with her, Reagan, Jade, and Mandy. I had a blast with the girls ESPECIALLY coming up with "personalized meds" and laughing hysterically coming up with scenarios as to where the "traveling pants" would be found or show themselves. Next week I am off to Boone, IA for the "Farm Progress Show" and on Saturday will be my parents 40th surprise wedding anniversary so with all that fun stuff coming up I am sure I will have a great story to share.

Can't wait to hear all about Mandy's last hoorah at Rhythm on the River(since I wasn't there because I opted for a quiet night at home). Hope all the "Goddesses" are doing well. Til next time........